To be or not to be... in or out?

Today.

Today was a day.
The world got smaller, darker.
I grew more afraid.
Not of what I am but of what...
I grew more afraid.
Not of what I am but of what I could be.
I loosen my collar to take a breath.
My eyes fade.
And I see... Him.
The image of perfection.
His frame strong.
His lips smooth.
And I keep thinking.
What am I so scared of...
I wish I could escape the pain, but these thoughts invade my head.
Bound to my memory, they're like shackles of guilt.
Oh God, please set me free...